This just got real.
Tomorrow is retrieval day at 10:30 a.m. Gah!
I’m a bundle of nerves tonight. It’s surreal that tomorrow this will all be underway.
After my last update, my week consisted of a few more doctor visits – bloodwork, sono, the usual. Everything was looking good and on Saturday, I added Ganirelix to my injection list. Ganirelix shots in the mornings, Follistim and Menopur in the evening.
So, for several more days, my belly was a pin cushion. We had a repeat of an in-the-car injection that made me feel like we were part of a shady drug deal – 2-inch needles, mixing powders, flicking syringes to get out the air bubbles. (This time, we were tailgating before the Darius Rucker concert. Lots of people around us, but I’m pretty sure most of them were too hammered to notice.) Apparently, we were successful because we had a good report on Monday.
I went in Monday – more of the same – sono and bloodwork. Everything was looking good. Really good. Lots of eggs brewing, hormones all where they should be. I was on the cusp of triggering with Novarel on Monday night, but they decided to give me one more day.
I went in Tuesday – and this time, I got the green light to trigger that night. At 11:30 pm. My RE liked what he saw, said that it should be ‘easy-pickings’ on retrieval day. So last night, J. gave me my last injection in my belly, and thank God. I was running out of places around my belly button that weren’t bruised.
I went in again this morning for a final sono and bloodwork, signed my post-retrieval and post-transfer instructions, and discussed the final plan. All systems go.
It was up in the air whether or not my RE was going to do the actual retrieval, but it turns out that he is. It’s in a different facility, but he rearranged his office visits to accommodate us. So grateful.
So, here we are. Tomorrow. Retrieval day. I’ll be under anesthesia, so no food after midnight, no contact lens or jewelry tomorrow. We are going with ICSI (Intra-Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection) for the procedure. Basically, they are hand-picking the individual sperm and hand-fertilizing the eggs, rather than putting a bunch of sperm in a dish with eggs and letting it happen. Tomorrow night, after the procedure, I start the Crinone (progesterone) cream, Estrace (estrogen), and Doxycycline. No complaining here; I’ll take that over injections any day.
The plan is that they will call me on Friday to tell me how many embryos we have. Then, they will call on Saturday to see if we are doing the transfer on Sunday (Day 3) or Tuesday (Day 5). After that, it’s bloodwork on Day 7 and pregnancy test on Day 14. (Normally, they would do bloodwork on Day 10 but we will be on vacation already.)
I’m grateful we made it this far with no complications. The only kink in the plan is that we are going to be on vacation from Aug 8 – Aug 23. So, that means, I won’t be in NY to have my pregnancy test; we’ll have to do it out-of-state. For better or worse, we will find out if this was a success while we are on vacation.
My doctor has been super-proactive to make sure that I am all set with a plan while I’m away on vacation. He has already met with the nurses to make sure they set up a plan for me to have all of my scripts, paperwork, meds all scheduled out while we are gone.
Yeah, so that is that. Tomorrow officially starts the notorious two-week wait.
My feelings on this? I am trying to stay optimistic – or at least neutral. I can’t even go down the negative ‘what-if-this-doesn’t-work’ road. Just can’t yet. Just doing my best to stay in a positive head-space. But clearly, this has been running in my brain like non-stop background music.
Of course, God has been reminding me I’m not alone in this. A few truths this week that are keeping me somewhat grounded:
*God has a perfect timing for us. If it isn’t this time, He’s not denying us. It just isn’t our time. I truly believe that this is going to happen for us at some point in time, in some way. And I believe God has spoken that to us.
*If God does delay, the delay is motivated by His love for us, and the result will be for our good. At the minimum, stronger faith for us and more glory for Him.
*God knows exactly what He is doing. If this doesn’t work now, He still has a plan for us, and it is unfolding exactly like it should be, regardless of how it looks.
*No matter what happens, God loves us and God is faithful to us.
*Nothing is impossible for Him. There is not one example of a barren woman in the Bible who desired a child who was left childless. I’m not looking at what I can see or at others; I’m trusting what His Word says. Like Abraham, we know God is faithful to His promises, no matter how it looks.
Ok. Deep breath.
Here we go.