And that’s a wrap. Our IUI journey is done.
In spite of how good my eggs looked, there were other issues the day of my IUI that pretty much squashed any hopes of #4 working. Not impossible, but a long-shot.
I was close to tears while I was laying on the table after the NP told me. What in the world??? Why wasn’t this working out for us??? She suggested we make an appointment for a consult with the doctor because I had just one more IUI left that my insurance would cover. Maybe we should go a different route.
So, before we even knew if that IUI was successful, rather than lose time in the waiting, we were moving on to make another plan.
Well, we are breaking out the big guns. We are going for it.
Even though we still had one more IUI covered, my RE felt it best to forego it and move directly to IVF. Right now, my body is responding incredibly to the meds; he said that I’m at least 5 years younger in my fertility age. He really doesn’t want me to be pumped up on hormones for more time than I need to be, so he feels it is better for us to move on to IVF now rather than go for the last IUI.
My RE began explaining the process, telling us what will happen, answering our questions (although interrupted several times by J’s interjections about the World Cup. My RE is Argentinian, by the way. Men! Can we focus, please?!?).
After pulling the conversation back to the subject at hand, my big question was, ‘When?’
I definitely was not anticipating that. For some reason, I thought the process was months long…months of being on meds, months of injections, months of prepping your body. I didn’t know it could happen so quickly.
But it can. We are on for this cycle.
It’s crazy, because my husband and I didn’t really talk ahead of time about IVF. I think we both felt that we would cross that bridge when we came to it. In silent agreement, we both knew that we would do what was available to us, what our insurance covered (and thankfully, our insurance covers IVF); we would do what we could to make this happen. I always just felt like, ‘We’ll discuss it when we need to.’ I just didn’t think we would need to so soon.
I didn’t really have a lot of questions; you don’t know what you don’t know, I suppose. But I did know, however, that my most major concern would be left-over embryos (that’s a separate blogpost). He assured me that, at my age, it would be very unlikely that we would have embryos remaining when all was said and done.
So, I left the consult in a bit of a fog and waited out the two weeks. The first week, I was mostly distracted by the pain I was in. My ovaries were so hyper-stimulated that it hurt to sit, it hurt to stand, it hurt to walk, it hurt to bend over. Naturally, I freaked out, but Google assured me this was a common side effect which should disappear within a week. Which it did.
Just in time for my body to play tricks on me during the last week, as it always does, convincing me with just enough proof that I just might be pregnant. I refused to test, though. Any time I’ve tested, I’ve gotten a BFN and then got my period later that day. So, no – forget it; I was just going to wait it out.
Well, in spite of all my fake symptoms, AF arrived on Friday night, a few days early as my NP predicted it might, and just in time for the Baccalaureate Ceremony.
Ok, then. IVF it is.
I went in this morning, and my RE reviewed the plan: Start birth control today. I go in again Wednesday to go over the paperwork and all the legal aspects (what happens to the embryos if I die, if he dies, if we die, etc.). Next week, I go in for a ‘trial transfer’ – a practice-run so there are no surprises on the day-of.
In about 2 weeks, I start the injections. I’ll be on them for …I forget how long…a week or two. I do remember he said that the egg retrieval will be towards the end of the month…the last week in July. And then, egg transfer 3-5 days after that.
Based on that timeline, we leave on vacation the week after that, and it will be on vacation that we’ll find out if we are pregnant (for better or for worse, I suppose).
So, yeah. It’s IVF, then.
It’s a little surreal. I think I always hoped it wouldn’t and never really thought it would come to IVF. But lately, I just had that feeling. I just knew we were going to have to go the whole way through to IVF.
True to form with infertility, it’s been an exhausting roller-coaster, one that never lets you get off even though you are done with the ride. Everything has been so emotionally heightened: the hopes, the crash, the waiting, the let-down. On top of that, the hormone injections have completely wreaked havoc on my emotions. There have been lots of tears over the past few days…some legitimate, some just the result of an over-taxed hormonal system. It didn’t take much.
I wish it wasn’t this way; I wish it didn’t have to be this way. We all wish a lot of things were different, don’t we?
But they’re not; it is this way. And honestly, I am so grateful we even have the ability to go down this road. For a lot of couples, the road ends here. I’m grateful there is more road ahead for us to travel, even if it wasn’t the one I would have chosen.
So, yeah. IVF.