When God Gives an Unexpected Answer
As Providential and chick-flick-esque was the meeting between J. and me, it wasn’t without its complications.
A few weeks prior to our meeting, my mind started turning toward missions again. I had just come back from a missions trip to Brazil in July, and I was feeling the itch again. Since my nephew would be graduating the following spring, I was beginning to think about my next move. My plan was, as soon as school started, to jump in and start seeking out opportunities.
However, I clearly sensed God say to my heart, ‘Katie, give Me a chance to order your steps.” So, I felt like I was to be still for a bit and see what God would bring to me.
As summer ended, I was just coming off an intense time with God, from my magical summer the year before (2006) and the months that had followed since. I had plans on Labor Day to have a special day with God. To show my renewed commitment to Him, I wanted to do something significant. That day, I went to the beach, and I renewed my covenant with Him in a personal way, just between us.
I bought this ring as symbolic reminder.
The ring has 5 bands, to represent Jesus’ covenant with me. The ‘five’ comes from Hosea 2:19-20: ‘I will betroth you to Me in RIGHTEOUSNESS…in JUSTICE…in LOVE…in COMPASSION…in FAITHFULNESS.’
I wanted Him to know I was all in. All His.
I met J. the day before this.
From the start, we both sensed this was something out of the ordinary. J. later told me that even the way he wound up at my church that Sunday was Providential. That Friday, he had been home contemplating his life, knowing he wanted things to be different. He went to the beach by himself the next day, not a friend to be had.
‘All the sudden,’ out of nowhere, his friend Rob and his girlfriend showed up with a sandwich and drinks to meet him. J. later described it as ‘other-worldy.’ They weren’t supposed to be there; they were supposed to be in Connecticut. He sensed that this somehow was an answer to his prayer from the night before. After spending the day together, Rob encouraged him to come to his church the next morning. J. did. And you know how that turned out.
Within weeks, as Providential as it was, I was spiraling in a tailspin. I felt this conflict between my growing relationship with J. and the possibility of being called to missions. Was this relationship from God? Was it a distraction? Should I not even get to know him? Would I fall in love only to have God send me away? Did this mean I didn’t love Jesus? I felt tortured in my heart the more I got to know J. I definitely sensed something between us, but I was so afraid of the potential conflict between following my feelings and obeying God.
Was it too much to hope that maybe they were the same thing?
I prayed hard, and all along the way, God used many different ways to keep us moving forward. But I still felt guilty. I had told J.from the beginning that moving overseas was a possibility for me, but he felt peace about us continuing to go forward and trusting God.
By November, my heart was so tortured that I knew I had to put it out there and just get an answer from God. One Sunday, our pastor gave a message about persevering and doing the will of God. I was so confused because I didn’t even know what that was. So, I went up for prayer and just laid it out before God.
“Lord, show me your will and I will do it, whatever it is. If you want me to go overseas, then I will go. If you want me to stay and pursue this with J., then I will do that. Please just make it clear to me. I can’t hear you in my heart because I’m so confused and conflicted. Please show me in some other way.”
A woman at the front prayed for me, and she encouraged me to just trust God; He would make it clear.
It was the scariest prayer I’ve ever prayed.
After the service, J.mentioned to me that he really wanted to go on a short-term trip the following summer. I encouraged him to do it. As for me, I didn’t know if that was something I’d be doing; I could be planning to move overseas at that time – for good.
On our way out of church, we ran into a young married couple who was on the short-term missions committee. I asked them if the trips for next year had been planned, and they said, no, not yet. J. said to them, “You know, I’d really like to go to Nigeria.” They joked and said, “Katie, you should lead a team to Nigeria, then.” [They later told me that they had actually said this. I had no recollection.]
Nervously I waited for God’s answer. I remember having a conversation with my parents about all this. “But Katie, you teach in a Christian school. You are doing missions!” Well, sure – but I couldn’t pretend that I hadn’t been thinking about moving overseas before I met J.
The next day, as I was walking into a class, I heard my named being called. “Katie! Katie! Miss Mauro!” I turned, and it was our missions pastor and the head of the short-term committee. “Katie, we just heard from the Lord!” they said, half-joking, half-serious.
Oh gosh, here it comes…my heart froze and my eyes opened wide. “Katie, we are taking a team to Nigeria next summer, and we want you to lead it!”
Everything started spinning around me as their words sunk in. Short-term trip. To Nigeria. They wanted me to lead it. Wait – J. wanted to go to Nigeria. Oh my gosh…my answer! It wasn’t either/or – missions or J. Here it was – God was giving me both. His will wasn’t for me to go overseas for good. For now, the plan was to lead the short-term team to Nigeria.
I gave J. the news that Wednesday, and a smile came over his face as he processed all of this and the ramifications sunk in. And, it was that Saturday that J. officially asked me to date him exclusively.
I somehow always thought that it had to be either missions or marriage. It seemed too much for me to believe or ask God for both. But in His Providence, He proved that He really can do exceedingly, abundantly above all I could have dared to ask (Eph. 3:20).
[Photo Credit: Wikimol via Wikimedia Commons]
Isn’t the Lord just amazing!!
I look back on it, and yes – it was totally incredible! 🙂
I am LOVING reading your story!!! It’s has similar twists and turns and chance encounters just like my story with my hubs. It’s so much fun to read how God works. You know he had fun orchestrating the details 🙂 this is just another reason for us to meet for coffee sometime 🙂 I didn’t include details of this when I blogged my own story but I also was feeling called to missions and was preparing to research ways to move that direction when I met Brian. I struggled with some of the same questions you did!! Since then we’ve been on three short term trips together and it was through those trips he was called to ministry, went to seminary and now works as a discipleship pastor. We still both have a feeling we could end up overseas some day. But for now our mission field is Northern VA 🙂 Again, I’m so enjoying your series!!! Thanks for sharing!!!
ALW
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I remember reading your posts about your story with you and your husband, and thinking the same thing! That is very affirming to me…in some decisions, I am terrible. I get very afraid of making the wrong choice. Not as much as I used to, but I still do sometimes! My biggest life-fear is that somehow, I will miss God’s will. Again, I’m getting better at that!
We’ve been on 2 trips together, and we definitely loved serving together. I sometimes fear that we are becoming too ‘Americanized’ and comfortable – not really on the edge of where God wants us. But I pray all the time, that God would really order our steps. And it is my prayer that some day we would be overseas. Would so love that. But like you, for now, our mission field is right here. I know God hears the cries and desires of our heart – and I truly believe that all of the prayers offered up about this are being heard and stored up.
Hoping we will have that cup of coffee some day….thanks so much for reading, friend! 🙂 Can’t wait til you are back writing! 🙂
“I was so afraid of the potential conflict between following my feelings and obeying God. Was it too much to hope that maybe they were the same thing?”
I’ve felt this same thing so much lately, though in an entirely different situation. Thanks for sharing your story and showing that yes, they can be the same thing sometimes. 🙂
That so tough – definitely can relate! This is often a huge struggle of mine, in lots of things. I don’t always trust myself and my motives. Can make making decisions a very frustrating process for me! And yes, God is often so much more gracious than I would be towards me!! Slowly learning this… He is a good Father, and sometimes, yes – we actually are on the same page! Thanks for reading, Mrs. R! 🙂
What an incredible love story. I’ve had friends who were passionate and on fire for God and ministry who dropped almost all of it as soon as they got married (usually because their husband was not) and I’ve always been afraid of marrying someone who wouldn’t encourage me to keep on serving God the way He leads me to and it’s SO encouraging to see and read stories of married couples like you who keep serving God married, just as you did when you were single (and now you have a partner to always do it with). I just pray that if God brings a man into my life we’ll be on the same page and have the same goals and desires in life when it comes to serving Him in the way He calls us to.
God sure has a way of orchestrating our lives in His own unique ways, doesn’t He? I’m so glad He gave you the desires of your heart both to keep on serving and then to have someone by your side to do it with. 🙂 He sure is faithful in answering our prayers!
That was always my prayer – that God would cause me to be more effective with someone than I could be without it. One thing I will say – God really is the only one who can determine ‘effectiveness’ and His plans for us in that way. Sometimes, we have ideas of the best way we can be used or the way we want to be used, but God has other ministry plans or other life plans.
I think the key is to really just be seeking God when you meet someone and let God tell you if He is the right one. My husband definitely didn’t come in the package I thought…and it is still TBD what our ‘ministry’ plan will look like. We are both on our church’s missions committee, but if I had my way, we’d be a LOT more active and involved. However, I am learning to trust God’s timing and the doors He opens and closes. Sometimes God has other priorities in our lives than ‘just’ serving. Sometimes it’s about us and the character He wants to build in us, the healing He wants to happen in our lives or in our spouses’….we don’t always know His agenda.
So, I think it is smart to just keep obeying and seeking Him. I really thought He wanted me to go overseas, but that wasn’t the case. I thought that was where I could be most ‘effective’ – but only He really knows…b/c it is really based on His purposes for me.
Love this conversation, Anna! I am so sure God will put you with the man who will complement you and complete God’s agenda in your life!!! Hugs, love and prayers! 🙂
Thank you so much for your response Kate. You are a voice of wisdom and encouragement in my walk with Christ and I’m sooo glad I stumbled upon your blog when I did. I certainly do have a lot of questions and uncertainties about my future when it comes to career, ministry, and spouse but even though it’s not all clear at the moment I know God will work out all the details and I just need to keep trusting His plan and purpose for me with each step that I take.
It’s definitely not easy. Last year alone I had multiple doors close (and a few open as well) when it came to ministry and relationships and it requires much wisdom and peace from God to keep on trusting without fully understanding His ways and the road He is leading me on next. It’s so encouraging to read your story and what He’s led you through because it’s a reminder of God’s faithfulness in taking care of His children in every season and phase in life. Keep on writing and sharing your heart. Your words and your story is a blessing to us all!
Your story just keeps encouraging me. 🙂 (That’s cool you went to Brazil, by the way. I’ve been to Brazil four times & it’s my absolute favorite place on earth.) One of my fears is that I’ll never get married because I feel a strong calling from God to serve Him abroad. I’m so sure of this, a guy would have to have a similar calling to even register on my radar. So it truly would take a MIRACLE for anyone to marry me, given what I know are my slim pickings out there! But I’ll keep hoping & praying. I’ve enjoyed reading your story so much.
Love that you have been to Brazil! It’s amazing…one of my favorite places to go! Don’t let fear get a hold of your heart! There are plenty of men who have a heart for missions! You never know, you may meet him over there as a national (I’ve seen that happens lots of times!) Just keep obeying and doing what God puts on your heart! He definitely is big enough to bring you together with the right person!!! I’ve found that, more often than not, my life didn’t play out the way I hoped/planned/expected. But there’s a lot of comfort in knowing that it has (and is) played out like GOD wants it to. In the end, that is most important. But don’t give up hope!!! Trust His good plans for you! I’ll be praying, friend! 🙂
I really enjoyed reading the last few posts about your path to J. So sweet and promising and a reminder that good things will come in their own time! I’m so hopeful for you and what’s to come Katie!
It really was such a God-story! That knowledge has kept me steady during some bumpy times!!! 🙂 He definitely has a plan for us! 🙂
It’s wonderful how God exceeds our expectations! Thanks so much for sharing your story. Love to see the many ways God has of directing our lives.
He was so gracious to me, in the height of my neuroticism!! I was obsessive!! But He kept giving me what I needed to keep going! 🙂