Saying Goodbye to Baby #2
This isn’t how I hoped things would turn out. We didn’t get our miracle.
Yesterday, we said goodbye to Baby #2.
I was hopeful. I really was. Not perfectly faith-filled, but I prayed and believed God could do this. And I was asking Him to.
But things didn’t turn out that way.
My appointment yesterday (which was postponed from Monday) started out like all the others…into the sonogram room, my home away from home, it seems. The tech started the internal scan. I saw the sack right away, so I was initiallly hopeful (but I don’t think I ever really know what I am looking at). Maybe? But then she said, ‘We have an issue.’
Deep breath. Here it comes. I wasn’t able to speak, but thankfully, my husband took charge: “What is it?”
“I don’t have a heartbeat.” Just like that. All this build up – the weeks of praying, agonizing, crying, wondering, worrying, laying it all out there – it was over.
Then, she began to point out a few things on the screen to J. I was just watching silently, somewhere between numbing myself, trying to keep myself from being swallowed in grief and hopelessness, trying to save face in public. All I could manage to get out was, ‘Did it grow since last time?’ She shook her head. “No, the same size. Actually, a little smaller.”
She took a few measurements, J asked some questions, and she pointed out a few things to him in response to his questions. Then she left us, telling us to take our time in the room before coming out. Then, no more acting. I just started crying – couldn’t even speak. I just felt like I should apologize to J. He was great – comforting, reassuring, praying. Me? I just couldn’t believe this was happening. Again. I had really hoped. I had really thought this time….
I was lost in space somewhere, waiting to meet with the doctor, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the waiting room. When we met with him, he was kind and sympathetic but couldn’t really offer us much explanation at this point. But at our last visit, he already began the blood work-up and testing for us. The rest would have to wait until after I was done with this pregnancy. Thankfully, we were able to start the testing right away, after this miscarriage, my second; I know a lot of people have to wait until they miscarry three times first.
He assured me that we would do our best to get to the bottom of this. I didn’t know this, but it turns out that not only is he a fertility expert, but he is also a miscarriage expert. That lifted my spirit just slightly. We were in the right place
I went on to ask all the usual questions: Was it from the Clomid? (No, that is a myth). Could we eat better or improve our health? (No, that wasn’t the cause). Was it something I did? (No. Nothing like that). So, again, we are back to waiting.
Of course, there were more tears in the parking lot. More tears in McDonalds, as we went to kill some time before I went back to work. And more tears throughout the day. (Yes, I did go back to work. I just didn’t want to be alone with my reality; working somehow made this less real – I could at least try to escape it for a few hours.) But of course, as is becoming my habit, the real tears were on the drive home.
So here I am (again). Left to contemplate the past month. Yes, really – it is has only been one month. One month since I found out I was pregnant. It all just went downhill that fast. I barely had one full week to enjoy it, before there was any ominous bad news.
I don’t really know how to put into words what is inside. I alternate between numbness, resigned acceptance, frustration, anger, disbelief, confusion, incredible sadness, disappointment – and even waves of hopelessness. I know all of this will pass.
Just not today.
When I let myself think too deeply, it just becomes to painful to consider. I know I will get to all of those truths that keep me from sinking and hold me together.
But maybe not tonight.
I want sooooo want to go down that ‘it’s not fair’ and the ‘why’ and ‘why me’ road. I want to ask, ‘Why does everything have to be so hard? Why can’t anything ever be easy? Like it is for everyone else? Why do teenage girls who get knocked up by their boyfriends and don’t want the baby in the first place get healthy, easy pregnancies? Why do these things never happen to them?”
But even in my present state of mind, I know that line of thinking is futile. It’s not about what is fair and what isn’t (as if any of us have the proper perspective on that). This is life in an imperfect world. These things happen. But it is just hard to understand. I don’t think it will make sense right now. I think the understanding will come later (if ever).
And I don’t really think that trying to understand is the way to go at this point. I think it is just about grieving, letting myself mourn my loss, letting myself be sad.
I know all the truths that will hold me up and are still true, no matter how I feel – that God somehow has a plan in this and sees why this was the best outcome, that God promises to work everything for good (even this), that my mind has no idea how God is working this into a wonderful, eternal good I can’t even imagine.
But knowing this doesn’t really make it hurt less. Those truths hold me up, but right now, they don’t really take away the pain. It doesn’t make me any less sad that half of our family is in heaven, and we will never get to meet them here on earth. But for some reason, knowing that there are two of them up there together makes me miss them more. What would our little family have been like down here? And I am sad that I will never get to know that.
I know that God understands my feelings. He gets me. He gets women, He understands what my heart is feeling. But I admit that I feel a little bit like Mary – how she didn’t even want to come out and see Jesus when He finally came – after Lazarus had died. She was upset that He could have done something to save her brother – but didn’t. And even though Jesus knew He would raise Lazarus from the dead, He still cried with her. Even though I know that He has a glorious plan still to come out of this, I know He is with me in my sadness and my broken heart.
So that’s kind of where I am. Sad. Coping. Trying to get through the day without thinking about it. Getting hit with a tidal wave of emotion when I get home – when I let myself think about. Trying to act like normal. Trying to keep myself from sinking into a pit of sadness. Fighting the temptation to be bitter.
Sometimes I almost feel like I am succeeding. But then I remember why I have this nagging, weighty, boulder-in-my-heart feeling. Oh, yeah…that’s why.
The good news (and bad news at the same time) is that I have been through this before. I know I will get through. I know life will return to normal. I know that God will see carry us through this. I know God will give me the right perspective. I know joy will return to my heart.
But it just might not be tonight.
(Photo Credit: Walt Stoneburner)
I am so very sad that you are going through this. Holding you in my prayers tonight.
Thank you so much for your prayers. I know that is exactly what will get us through. Very much appreciated!!
Oh my heart just breaks for you… You’re right, you will get through this, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less now. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Sending hugs and still praying for you.
Thank you for continuing to pray for us. I still know that God hears our prayers and they ‘avail much.’ We’ll get through. Thank you!!!!
I wish I had words, Kate. 🙁 I’m praying for you guys. If there’s anything I can do…….Love you XOXO
It’s ok. There really are no words that will help or change anything. But thanks for praying for us.
I’m so sorry. I have been in that place of sadness, Kate. I know. I also know what an awesome God we have (and so do you! 🙂 )
Be gentle to yourself.
Thanks, Valerie. I know, this is no fun. But it will pass. Thank you for your encouragement and support, friend.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you. I don’t know what more to say.
That is perfect. Thank you.
Oh Kate, I am so sorry to hear about this. Breaks my heart. You have said all the right things, and your faith is strong, and you have a wonderful perspective and your husband is great and strong and you have so much support…and it will still hurt like mad. Grieving hurts, and there are those “what if”s that you mentioned that naturally happens. That was what it was like with our miscarriage years ago. It’s ok to feel that anger, that injustice, that sense of why not me? or why me? Those things will come. It’s just how we react to them. And yet, sometimes we just need to sit in that sadness so that we can pass through it. Nothing else to do. Sit in it until we need to move through it. And you guys will move through it. You said it yourself.
Be gentle to yourself. I will be thinking of you in my prayer time.
Blessings,
Paul
My heart breaks for you. Know that I’m praying for you continuously. I pray that you will feel God’s loving arms and rest in them. I love you so much
love & prayers
Rebekah
Thanks, Rebekah. That means so much. I know that God will get us through. It’s hard, but I know it will get better!! Thank you! xo
THanks for your kind words and encouragement, Paul. It is definitely comforting from someone who has been there. Yes – so many people have advised me to just be sad, go through, vent every emotion, even the ugly ones…all part of the process. I admit I’m uncomfortable with that, but I have a feeling I didn’t really do that the first time. Maybe pushed through too fast. So I’m settling in…for as long as I need to. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
THanks for your kind words and encouragement, Paul. It is definitely comforting from someone who has been there. Yes – so many people have advised me to just be sad, go through, vent every emotion, even the ugly ones…all part of the process. I admit I’m uncomfortable with that, but I have a feeling I didn’t really do that the first time. Maybe pushed through too fast. So I’m settling in…for as long as I need to. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
I’m so sorry, Katie. There are no words, but there will be hope. Your strength and faith are inspiring. Praying for you guys.
Thanks, always, Katie for your support and friendship. It has helped so much have an ally at work.
I am crying with you tonight. There are no works to express my sincere heartbreak over your loss. I truly can’t imagine being on the table hearing that news. My heart goes out to you and J and the pain, suffering, confusion, grief, fear, and sadness you are feeling. God is right there with you tonight, wrapping you in His arms and crying with you. I pray you feel His comfort flooding you in a way that is beyond human understanding. Sending so much love ….
Thank you, Chelsea. I know that you and your husband have had your own share of pain. I know God will see me through…He feels a little far, but I know that that is me, not Him. But I know that we will be close again. Just a little bruised right now. He is patient, and will wait til I can open up to Him. I am praying for you and Frostie, Chelsea! Praying it is only good news ahead for you!
Kate I’m so sorry for the pain and heartache that you are going through. My thoughts are with you and hubby. As someone else said, sit in the pain and move through when you are ready. Don’t feel the need to rush the grieving! All my love!
Thanks, Bianca. Your kind words mean so much. I’m not so comfortable sitting with the pain, but I know it’s necessary. So, here we go…hope all continues to go well with your little blessing!
Prayers for comfort and peace both emotionally and physically.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” Psalm 147:3
I have been hanging on to that verse. It has even been hard for me to pray for that…it’s a little tangly knowing we prayed so hard for this. But I know He has allowed only what is best. And I know He will give us the comfort we need. Thank you!
I am so sorry. Grieving with you.
Thank you so much, friend. Much appreciated.
Oh, Kate. My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry for your loss. I don’t have the words to say, but I know He does. I pray you have the strength to go to Him in the midst of this loss. I pray that his words will break out above all the others, and that you hear Him loud and clear.
Thank you, Charity. It’s strange b/c I run to Him for everything…but this is a little harder. Still, I know He is there and will be waiting when I am ready. Thank you for your prayers!
My heart goes out to you Kate 🙁 Lots of prayers being sent your way tonight..bless you and J…xo
Thank you so much. The prayers are everything!
I’m really sorry that you need to go through this for a second time around. But remember, God is never responsible for the bad things that happen to us, but He is the one who brings us through them! Stay strong xx
Thanks for our encouragement, Annie. I so know that God will get me through. It is hard to wrestle with knowing that He allows these painful things (even though He doesn’t cause them). But I also know that He has really, really good reasons for why He allows what He does. And I have faith that, in time, I will get that. Thanks for our support!
I’m so sorry Katie – big hugs and love from me to you.
Thanks, sass. I feel it.
love and prayers for you Kate. Praying God fills the void and ache with the comfort that only He can give…
Thank you, friend. I know that He will give us what we need. And I know He will provide comfort in His way, in His time.
My heart breaks for you. Know that I’m praying for you continuously. I pray that you will feel God’s loving arms and rest in them. I love you so much
love & prayers
Rebekah
I’m so sorry. I really hoped you would get your miracle.
Thank you, friend. So did we…so did we.
Kate, I am so sorry to hear you’re returning to the club nobody wants to be in. But as a returning member myself last week, I extend my hand to you and my heart. My prayers are with you. We all make it through, we all survive, but its not something we should have to. There is a plan, and having faith helps us cope. I am sending you a virtual hug and offering my shoulder to cry on from afar. Thinking about you and your sweet angels waiting in heaven.
Thank you so much for reaching out to me, even in your own loss. I know – we would give anything to be kicked out of this club, right? His ways are so hard to understand…but I do believe there is a plan. I don’t expect to see it now, but I believe we will someday. I’m thinking our kiddo might be friends in heaven. Glad they will have the company. Thank you so much for your support. Truly. Sending the same to you.
Crying with you Kate, and you are right to just be sad right now. No use denying it or trying to cover it up; burying it only makes it worse. I like that you said it’s not time to try to understand–unfortunately, this just isn’t our job to do so many times. Keep talking to Jesus; he understands, and he’s the only one who can make it better. Bless you, friend.
Thanks so much, Lindsey. Your kindness means so much. I appreciate your advice…I def. tend to want to rush through the grieving, the sadness – just want to get it over with, move on, forget…but, not the healthiest ways of dealing. I know God understands. I haven’t been able to say much to Him…but the conversation is opening up. I know He is patient and He will help. Thank you, friend.
I am so sorry Kate. I wish I could take away all your worries for you.
Don’t be afraid to go down the road of “why”? If you hold it all in and don’t let it out, it’s still going to be there.
I am not exactly proud of how I have let it all out these last 15 months, but it’s gotten me to a better place – to beginning to accept that life isn’t fair or easy and that relationships you work at aren’t always going to be there for you. I can accept all that now. I sense a calmness in me. I sense I can handle more than what has happened (not that that is a challenge, life!).
So let it all out, all the unfairness, all the anger, all the sadness. Trying to keep it together can be maddening.
I pray for you always and I am always here for you. If you want to let it all out just to me, I will listen – without judgement – without advice – just someone to listen to you. My email is my username at gmail.
Hugs and love, friends. Lots of it.
Your support is amazing. Thank you so, so much. I can’t tell you how much it means to me. So many people have been saying just what you have – and I am so uncomfortable doing that!!! I fear if I let myself be sad, I will never be able to get out. I know that is not true, but even so, I realize how important it is to let the process run its course and not try to rush it b/c it feels so awful. I’m sure I rushed it a little with the first one…so I’m thinking I just need to settle into this one a little more and take my time.
Thank you for the advice, prayers, support, friendship, all of it. Means so much.
Kate, I am so sorry and those words don’t even cover the sorrow I feel with you. Been there, done that, three times. I love how honest you are in expressing how you feel about this. What a tangle of emotions, don’t ever be ashamed of them, please let yourself feel what you feel. I am here for you if you want to vent. Know that I am praying for you and your family. My heart aches for you and J.
Diane, thank you so much for your support, prayers, and faith through this entire ordeal. I so appreciate how you have stood with me – even from afar. My heart aches for your losses as well, and it helps to know there are people out there who truly understand what this is like (not that I would wish it on anyone). A tangle of emotions is a great way to put it…trying to sort it out – w ell, not really, but just letting them sort themselves out. Trying to realize God is a safe place to pour out those emotions – even if they are ugly, even if they are directed at Him for the moment. Thank you for your friendship and support. Priceless to me.
I’m so so sorry. Please be gentle with yourself and take the time and space you need to feel however you feel. I hope the doctor is able to give you some answers in time. I was given a reason for my second loss and it helped reduce some of the why-churn in my mind. I’ll be thinking of you.
Thanks, Lisa. I really appreciate that advice, and I realize I do need to do this – as much as I want to rush through this to the other side. Yes, I hope we get some answers or peace of mind – or at least – a hopeful future. Thank you!
Kate- I wanted to let you know that late last night on Facebook I asked for my friends to be praying for you and your loss. Through that post I have already had three friends open up about their own losses and their own hurts. One of my friends had just happen to have spent most of the day yesterday in tears grieving the loss of her child who she lost exactly four months ago- also a miscarriage. I shared your blog and some of the words you shared in this post with her. I know that God used your words to affirm to her that he knows her pain- he too is grieving- he too has not forgotten. He met her in her pain yesterday through your words. And that simple prayer request for you has already made an oppurtunity for three of my friends to acknowledge their loss and share their sorrow. We need to share eachother’s sorrow. So thank you for writing this. Thank you for being bold enough to say those things that many do not say- to express the why’s and the hurt and the many intense emotions that come with this. I know God is already touching hearts and letting women know they are not alone through your words. You are not alone. Continuing to pray for you. Thank you again for sharing your heart.
Wow, Charity. First, I am so touched that you would ask your friends to pray for me, a stranger. I cannot even tell you how much that means. Second, I am so glad that your friends have come out and opened up about this. It helps so, so much. So much! And honestly, I am so humbled that God could use anything I share to encourage someone else. It doesn’t take away my pain, but I feel like then there is so purpose and good coming out of it…it is not being wasted. And that truly is a comfort to me. I pray for your friends and their losses…it is so overwhelming sometimes – and it hits at all kinds of unexpected times and at random triggers. I hope your friends will truly be comforted and know healing in their loss. And if I helped in any at all – that truly is a privilege and honor to me. Thank you for sharing this with me. It truly encouraged me. Bless you, friend!
Ugh, so painful. Feeling your pain Kate. I’m so so terribly sorry. Look after yourself, rest and take care. Lots of love xx
Thanks, Lisette – for your sympathy and care. Means so much.
There are no words to convey the sincere sadness I feel for you during this time. My only words of consolation I can convey is that there are waiting arms beckoning you to heaven. Oh what a glorious day that will be when you meet those precious little ones. My heart aches for you now while you endure, blessings,
Thank you, Ellie- for your heartfelt comment. It totally helps to know that I will meet these little ones some day. I think about what they are like, what they look like, their personalities…it makes heaven just a little sweeter. Thank you for your kind words.
Kate, you’ve been so kind to encourage me in my own struggles, and although I’m a bit late to the discussion here, I just wanted to stop by and offer my condolences and prayers for the trials you’re experiencing. While I can’t personally say I understand what it feels like to go through what you’re going through, being single, I do understand what pain feels like. Oh so much.
For me, it may not be a child, but it’s the constant ache of loneliness, as well as physical suffering, and so often, like you, I want to scream at God, it’s not fair! Why me, Lord? Why have you afflicted me this way? Why am I still suffering physical pain? Why am I still single, when all these other people are married? But then I remember we each have different journeys and different stories, and it’s not our circumstances that determine who we are, but how we react to those circumstances.
I’ll be praying for you…may you find strength and comfort in Christ in this difficult time.
Thank you so much for your comments, prayers, and support. I have learned that pain is pain – when that is what you are feeling, it doesn’t really matter the cause or the source. It all hurts like you are dying, no matter what. II can relate to what you are experiencing- and I know that is significant pain. I wasn’t married until I was 36 – and I felt the very same way as you did. It was not an easy journey for me. I came to a time when I was finally at peace and just surrendered to God and His plan, but it was a Loooonnnng journey to get to that place. I was the last of all my high school AND college friends to get married. And, I’m the last to have kids – and well, you can see how that is going. All of these painful things test our faith, no matter what the nature is. Hang in there…we both know He is faithful and good, even though sometimes it takes every ounce of our faith to believe that in the light of our circumstances. I will be praying for you, too – that you have peace and that God will give you the desires of your heart! xo
Oh Kate, I am so very sorry that happened to you. I wish I had words to encourage you, but of course there really aren’t any. What comes to mind is the verse from Psalm 34, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I hope you can feel that. I read this blog post yesterday and went to bed praying for you. My prayer is that He will overwhelm and surprise you and your husband with genuine peace and genuine hope in a time that feels so crushing and hopeless.
Thank you so much – your words and encouragement means so much to me. I have been hanging on to that verse and also – ‘Weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning.’ And, ‘Those who sow in tears will reap in joy.’ This time of tears is so awful, but I know that God can use every one that will be a seed of joy. I know, in time, He will restore hope and joy to my heart. In time. Thank you for your care and encouragement, friend.
I don’t know if you’re a book reader, but I can tell you are very like-minded to my husband and me … we are reading Tim Keller’s new book, “Walking with God through pain and suffering” right now and last night when I was reading it I kept thinking of you, so I had to recommend it. It is just packed with truth after truth and is 100% relevant to everything you’re going through today. I’m posting about it on my blog in a couple weeks, but I didn’t want to wait to suggest it to you. If you do read it, I also suggest you skip the first section [as he recommends if you’re currently in a trial] and go right for part 2 and 3.
Thank you so much for that recommendation. I haven’t read it, but I will definitely make a mental note to check it out. I’ve read a few things by Tim Keller, and I really like him. Thank you for thinking of me!! Means so much!
I am so, so sorry. I have 1,000 things I want to say, but all I can come up with is I’m so very sorry. My heart is just breaking for you. I read your words with tears falling. I will be specifically praying for you, Katie. God really uses your continued faith to speak to me, I just want you to know that.
Thank you so much for coming by and for reading! I so appreciate your kind words, concern – and even sharing in some of my sorrow. Can’t tell you how much that means to me – as well as you taking time to pray for me. It is everything. Thank you so much. Means so much.
Kate,
Thank you for sharing such an incredibly painful, sad moment. I can’t imagine your grief, or understand how you feel. I do know that the truths will hold you up, like you said. That like you said, God cries with you, even though he already knows the great plans he has stored up for you. And I also know that even when we KNOW those things, it doesn’t make the hurt, or the anger, or the confusion go away. Heads and hearts are two different animals sometimes. I am praying that in time you will have peace and hope again, and that eventually “all things will be made new” and the sun will come up in the morning.
Thank you, Tara, for your kind and heartfelt words. It is such a hard thing to experience (every part of this journey is hard – as you know!) and it is true – I am just realizing that faith doesn’t make things hurt less. Just gives you hope in spite of the hurt. I have been hanging on to the verses ‘Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning’ – and ‘Those who sow in tears will reap in joy.’ And I know His many promises will get me through, even when I don’t feel it. Still praying that you have a joyful, successful outcome to your miracle! I still believe in that!
My heart breaks for you. I have no words to offer that will help at all other than to say I am praying for you and your family.
Thank you, Jaimie. Prayers are perfect- they are enough. Thank you.
I’m so sorry you are going through this, I agree with the ladies who have commented – let it out and rage and feel sad. I think I needed to do that before I could start to pick myself back up and even now after a few weeks the waves of hopelessness and sadness come back and smack me in the face. You have such strength of character and I know you can get through this, even if it hurts like hell now. Thinking of you xxx
Thanks so much, friend. I known I need to let out my emotions…that is hard for me, but I know it is the healthiest way to go. Just let them run their course. Wish I could speed things up, but that’s not how it works!! So, I’m in for the long haul! Thank you for your kind words and support.
I am so sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve as you need. And remember, our God is the Healer
Thank you so much. Your encouragement means so much!
Hugs and a fresh box of tissues to you, and a supernatural force-field to protect you from the well-meaning comments you’ll be getting. So very sorry.
Thank you, my friend. Thankfully, most of the comments have been tasteful and genuinely helpful – lots of ‘I’m so sorry’ and ‘I’m praying’ – and those are the good ones! But thank you for your kind words and thoughts!
Perhaps He answered that prayer for the force-field. 🙂
Kate… I am so sorry that this keeps happening to you. You will be in my prayers.
I felt like i should share this with you… Isaiah 54:1-10 NIV, “Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the Lord . “Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities. “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband— the Lord Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit— a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God. “For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back. In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you,” says the Lord your Redeemer. “To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again. Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord , who has compassion on you.”
Thanks so much for that encouragement. God has used that passage in my several times in the past. Thank you for thee great reminder. I appreciate you taking the time to do that!
Kate, I am so sorry and sad to read this. You are so strong to resist going down the “why me” road. I am hoping and praying you continue to grow strength to get through this and also that you never have to experience this heartache again.
Thanks, Alexis. It has been tough. Emotions all over the place, up and down. But I know God will see us through. Thanks for your kind words and prayers. xo
I’m so sorry for your loss and where you are at right now. I really wish the best for you and your family. You are in my prayers. I know that prayer is the only thing that kept me going after my miscarriages. I pray for quick healing for you both physically and emotionally and for amazing things in your future. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of it or not, but a friend of mine recommended that I read a book called “Heaven is For Real”. It was a good read for me.
<3 <3 <3
I have no words, but I have prayers… and tears for you. Love, comfort and strength, beautiful friend.
I found your blog through a link from another friend who is dealing with similar issues. Our daughter is also dealing with the sadness of being unable to have a child – especially when friends all around her are celebrating new life. One day, while praying for her, God led me to this verse and I’ve clung to it and shared it with others in the same situation. Now I’m sharing it with you: 1 Samuel 1:27, 28 “I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord.” Everyone who walks this path knows that God doesn’t always answer when or how we wish He would, but HE KNOWS. And there is an answer. I pray for a good answer for our daughter, our friends and for you.
Thank you so much for coming by, Kathy. I am so sorry for your daughter’s struggle. It truly goes beyond words. I truly believe that God hears all of our cries and will definitely fill this void in our heart. I agree that it might not look like how we thought or in the timing we had hoped for, but I believe the end result will be the joy of a family, however we get there or whatever it looks like. I’ve hung on to that verse about Hannah also. Sending prayers and hugs to your daughter. Thank you again!
I think it is so wonderful that you reply to the comments on your blog. An awful lot of bloggers don’t. Even though there is a common sadness that binds us together, there is also a common faith in God and I’m thankful for that. God bless you with your heart’s desire, is my prayer.