My heart is so heavy tonight – but not for me. So many dear friends tonight are hurting. Suffering. Crying their tears. I know this because I was there. I remember what it was like to soak my pillow with sobs of grief that came from the deepest part of my heart. Not knowing if the tears would ever stop. And my guess is that some of my friends might be feeling those very things tonight.
Some of my friends are at the end of their ropes. Failed IUIs. Failed IVFs – their last chances. On the brink of miscarrying. Again. More delays. More physical complications. Out of money for treatments. At the end of their ropes, God.
My heart is heavy for them. I used to feel twinges of jealousy when I read that some of them were pregnant – and I’m sorry for that, Lord. But my friends need miracles. They don’t deserve to suffer like this. They don’t deserve to relive this pain over and over again – especially when healthy pregnancies comes so easily, so ungratefully, to others.
It’s hard not to question your ways, God. It’s hard not to ask You, ‘Why?’ I know Your ways are higher; I know You have a plan – but God, is this really the only way?
I don’t accuse You, God. Even when Your Son asked You if there was another way, You had to tell Him no, too. You take no delight in seeing us suffer.
Jesus, You know what it is like to suffer and cry from your guts, from the depths of Your soul. That is what some of my friends are feeling right now. You understand that kind of agonizing pain. You get it. You feel what they feel.
All I can ask You to do is to be with them. Provide some comfort for them. Help them make some sense of this. Please, don’t let this be the last chance for them.
Do miracles for them. Give hope and provision and supernatural impossibilities on their behalf. Bring healing to their bodies. To their husbands’ bodies. Provide money. Provide wisdom. Provide answers. Provide options.
God, I know You have a plan for each one of them. We don’t always get it; we can’t understand how You are working to bring it about. We know we live in a broken world that isn’t fixed yet. But You still do great and wonderful things in the middle of this brokenness. Please do great and wonderful and miraculous things for them.
I pray that You would do this right now for my friends. Somehow, someway, turn their mourning into joy. For every tear they sow, let them reap a huge harvest of joy. Huge.
I know, it might not be tonight. It might not be ‘soon.’ But let it come.
In the meantime, please be with my friends. Give them comfort and hope and perspective that only You can give. Their stories aren’t finished. Please remind them of that.
It’s not over.
With You, it’s never over; there’s always more.
Please let my friends feel Your supernatural peace and presence tonight. Wherever they are.
In Jesus’ Name,
[For all my struggling, infertile friends]
[Photo credit: Pinterest via Ali Gowan]