On Faith, Prayers, and Miracles
In any unoccupied moment this weekend, I have been having a running dialogue with God/monologue with myself over this whole pending miscarriage situation. Trying to make some sense. Trying to come to a bottom line where I can find peace.
It’s not really coming easily to me.
I’ve been thinking about faith and prayers and miracles and the relationship between them all. I’ve been praying. And crying. And hoping. And feeling hopeless. All depends on the hour of the day.
I haven’t really drawn any conclusions about all this. Well, I mean, there are certain things I know:
1. I know God is in control.
2. I know God has a plan.
3. I know God will do what is the very best in this scenario.
4. I know God will work something good out of this painful situation.
And while I know those things are true, they aren’t really bringing me much comfort. Yet. It’s like my heart is reluctant to put its full weight on those truths, waiting to see how things turn out. (Silly, I know. They are true in either outcome).
I wonder how much my faith has to do with this. If I just believe God enough for a miracle, does that mean it will happen? I can’t go there; I have seen too many wonderful, devout, faith-filled Christians who prayed for miracles and they didn’t happen.
What does it mean to have true, biblical faith? Is it believing that God will do a miracle? Or is it just believing God, period? Does it mean being 100% sure that your prayer will be answered? Or does it mean being 100% sure of God?
I worry that because my faith is weak (faith for a miracle, not my faith in God), that it is not enough for a miracle.
I worry that a miracle depends on how much I believe for one.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the stories in the Bible, where Jesus did miracles – and you know what? There is no formula. It happened different almost every time. Sometimes the person had great faith. Sometimes Jesus just did the miracle for His own reasons. Sometimes it was someone else’s faith. Sometimes Jesus was just moved with compassion.
What is the relationship between our prayers, miracles, and what God does? I believe in the power of prayer. Sincerely. I pray about everything. But my prayers rest more in the character of God than in being certain of an outcome. Right or wrong, I don’t know. That’s just me.
Even Jesus (in the Garden) prayed a prayer that the Father didn’t answer, and Jesus submitted to the Father’s will. I don’t think Jesus prayed a faithless prayer.
Sometimes I think our faith isn’t so much expressed as this confidence that God will do what we are asking, but it is expressed in the futility of having any other hope but Him – knowing He is the only way a miracle can (not necessarily will) happen.
I think prayers of faith are bold, not necessarily overwhelmingly certain. Hannah cried and prayed so badly that the priest thought she was drunk. The blind man cried out to Jesus even louder when the crowd tried to silence him. The woman who had been bleeding for 12 years risked huge punishment by being in a crowd and touching Jesus in her ‘unclean’ condition. The invalid’s man friends cut a hole in someone’s roof to get him to Jesus. Bold. Maybe even a little desperate. Is that faith? I think so. I hope so.
It doesn’t say that any of them knew for sure God would answer their prayers, but I think they all knew that God was their only hope.
And that I know. I know God is our only hope for this pregnancy. He is our only hope for a miracle.
And if He doesn’t give us our miracle, then all those other truths kick in – He has a plan, He is in control, He will bring good out of this, His reasons for not giving a miracle are somehow for the best in the big picture. I know this.
I know my response even if we don’t get a miracle: He still deserves my worship, my devotion, my love. None of those things are contingent on the miracle.
But until that moment comes, with boldness – and even with desperate, tear-filled prayers – I am asking Him for a miracle.
It’s not much faith, I know. But it is what I have.
God, You are our only hope. Have mercy on us. We ask you for a miracle.
You are so darling. You are in my prayers. Remember this, we don’t know what HIS plan is, but we have faith that HE has one. A beautiful one. A perfect one. It is not for us to know what it is, or its timing. And that HE will never put you up against more then you can handle. Have you thought about having the elders in your church pray over you? xxoo
Thank you so much for your prayers. It means so much. I appreciate your reminder of these important truths. I do know, deep down, past the pain I’m feeling, He does have a plan and it is perfect. I had someone tell me once that God’s will is exactly what I would choose if I knew all of the facts. So, I land on that (when I get past my emotions). Thanks for your encouragement! (Yes, we had the pastor and elders pray over us last week. Doing all we know to do!)
You are doing everything that is within you, but God will take care of all the rest. Put your faith in him, he loves you with all that HE is. xxoo You are stronger then you know! Good luck and sending all my best to you!!!!!
Oh, I cried reading your post.. I have thought all those things and no matter what God does deserve your worship. No matter how much we just don’t understand why we are enduring this pain. My husband and I started praying for you together the other night. I’ve been praying for you by myself, but the other night I shared your story with him and he insisted we pray about it together. We are also praying for that miracle every day now. I want this so bad for you… for everyone going through this pain, the unknowing, the confusion. This seems like an unlikely time to bring this up, but have your read “Hannah’s Hope”? It’s all about continuing to seek God through loss and infertility. If you haven’t you might want to check it out, it brought me a lot of peace. My husband and I will continue to pray for you. Hugs!
Friend (I don’t even know your name – in my mind you are ‘A Calm Persistence’!), thank you so much for your response. Yes, I know He has been putting on my heart that I need to worship Him through this – not just when I ‘m on the other side if I get my miracle, and not just on the other side if I don’t. I need to worship Him NOW. In the uncertainty…so that is where I am landing – just focusing on worship. I can’t even tell you how much it means to me that you and your husband are praying for me. I am blown away and humbled by your concern and care. Truly…just about strangers and that you would remember us in your prayers like that truly touched my heart. I haven’t read Hannah’s Hope, but I’ve heard a few bloggers (you, probably!) mention it. I definitely will try to get my hands on it. Again, thank you so, so much for standing with me during this time. Trust me – the love, concern and prayers of everyone are holding me up. Hugs, friend.
You’re welcome. 🙂 Hugs!
I broke my No Facebook Rule and sent you a Facebook message… I’m deactivating it again as soon as you check Facebook 🙂 I didn’t look at anyone’s post though :). I couldn’t find an email address for you.
Gosh, I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how you were getting on. This must be so, so difficult 🙁 I am hoping for a miracle for you. X
Thank you, Rose. That means so much…there’s still hope, and we are hanging on to that. It’s hard, but I don’t think there is an easy path at this point! But thanks for your kind thoughts and wishes.
Beautiful post. I can’t tell you how many times I have asked those same questions during a time of waiting for an answer. I refuse to see this as a “pending miscarriage situation”. I prefer to see this as a pending gift of God, fearfully and wonderfully made, being delivered on the day appointed by God and placed in your open arms. Blessings to you Kate and my prayers are with you, Diane
I think this is just the way we have to go and the questions we have to ask on the road to a deep and genuine faith. It is hard, no doubt. And I still don’t really have answers. But I know He will hold me up when it’s all said and done. That being said, thank you so much for your faith and seeing this through eyes of faith. It is so, so encouraging to me- and I agree in prayer with you. Sister, thank you so much for your faith and prayers. Means more than I know how to adequately express. Thank you.
I think this is one of the biggest struggles a lot of Christians have. It’s one thing to say, “God has a plan for me,” and another to say, “God has a plan for me and it might not be what I want but I have to be okay with that.” When awful things happen, we’re supposed to trust that it’s part of some bigger plan, even though that’s so hard to do.
That said, I hope you get your miracle. I’m definitely praying for you.
Thank you so much for praying. It means so much. I know they are big questions…probably bigger than I know how to tackle. But when all is said and done, I know I will land on my faith. It might be a bumpy ride, but it will hold me up. Thanks again for praying. Every single one helps! So grateful.
Such deep questions…I wish I had the answers. These are mind-boggling things to contemplate, and I’ve spent a lot of time doing that. I don’t know how much faith he requires to do a miracle…he said the faith of a mustard seed…but then, you are right that so many believers ask and don’t receive. I do know that we need to keep faith in God, which you are doing, and I know he will honor that…somehow…in his way and his time. All so frustrating to hear, though, in the meantime! I’m sending up a prayer for you today!
Deep questions…don’t I know it. I think times like this really bring out all the wonderings and questions. We all just want to UNDERSTAND so badly…like if we could, we could fix things. But God is too big to be boxed in by a formula or step by step program. It definitely is where trust has to come in….especially when we don’t understand or understand how things work. Trust that He is bigger than the questions. Learn to have faith in HIM even if we don’t have answers. But thank you so much for your prayers, Lindsey. They mean so much. Truly. I am grateful, and I know God will see us through. Thanks, friend!
Glad to share the journey with you, and I will keep praying!
Wishing your miracle will happen Kate. Thinking of you and sending love. So sorry you’re going through this xx
Thanks so much, Lisette. Definitely not ideal or what we would have wanted, but we are still hoping and praying. Thanks a ton for your love and support. Means so much!!
Wonderful attitude you have Kate. It takes a lot of strength and you have it my friend. Continue on YOUR path….embrace it…whatever it is…miracles are possible…xo
Thanks so much for your encouragement. Trying to stay positive…so tempting to drown in all of this, but I know that God will keep me afloat.
I think we all struggle through these things in one fashion or another. I am not Christian, but I do understand miracles. I see them often around me. I just have to choose to see them. I was riding my bike home today, worrying about something that is going on in my life, and trying not to get wrapped up in it. And what got me through it was thinking that no matter what I have going on in my life, God is bigger than it. When I get a problem, no matter how big or small, I like to introduce it to God. And show the problem that He is greater than it. I find this thinking freeing for me. I have NO clue what the outcomes are, but I have to remain positive, in faith and be in alignment with His will, not mine.
I too am praying that things come through in a miraculous way for you. Never say never…stranger things have happened 🙂
Blessings,
Paul
Thank you, Paul! I appreciate your encouragement. I love your perspective about introducing your problem to God. That definitely puts things in a more realistic light= He certainly is bigger than the problem. And His will is good. Thank you for the support!
This was so transparent, beautiful and filled with faith. Believing with you for this miracle. Grow baby grow!
Thank you so much, Charity! That means so much to me! I know God hears every prayer!
Ive spent the entire year grappling with these things. I like how you think. There is truth here. Believing that God is all we need is the best hardest thing and only by his power can we even believe it. But thank God that he does promise us that he loves us, that he is our heavenly father and we are more valuable to him than many sparrows 🙂 Praying and Believing with you.
Thanks so much for your encouragement, Annie. All true. I know that God is faithful, and I am definitely asking Him to open my eyes to His eternal perspective in all of this. Definitely don’t have it figured out, but I am praying, asking, trusting, believing… Thank you so much for taking a part in this with me!
I just want to let you know how much I’ve been praying for you! I’ve been praying and believing with you that this miracle will happen. My heart aches for you and I know that God is so big and hears your cries. Faith in Miracles can be such a challenge, when you wrestle with your human nature’s fears and wonder if that means that you faith isn’t enough. You couldn’t of said it more perfectly though when you rely and know that the miracle relies solely on Him. I’m reminded of a quote “The only hope you have is the only hope you ever had now stand and watch Him fight” No matter what God is behind you and is fighting for the good and perfect will for your life. So as you wait and pray you keep fighting and praying and claim it. God’s will is sovereign but He is the same God yesterday, today and forever. God is still a God of miracles! I don’t know if all that I said made sense, but please know that I’m praying for you! I love you and I pray that you will feel God’s peace surround and comfort you through this waiting!
Rebekah, thank you so much for your sweet words and encouragement. And your prayers! That means so much to me. Truly! We are hanging in there and just doing what we know to do: pray, worship, be in His Word, trust. And it is in His hands after that. But yes, I know He can do miracles, and
I ask Him for one every day! Thank you so much. Looking forward to keeping up on your blog, too! I love that you are doing this!
You have so eloquently put into words the thoughts I struggle and contemplate daily and I have come to the same 4 point conclusions you shared. Thank you so much for sharing this post!
Thank you so much for your kind words. It is so hard to navigate through such an emotionally draining and trying trial -but I know the truth will hold me up. Thank you so much for coming by. Means so much!