To the One Completely Tired of Waiting

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I could have cried when I read the email. I mean, literally cried. And actually, I did cry a few girl tears. I was so over it.

“In a worst case scenario, your belongings will arrive no later than 2 weeks from today.”

On most days, something like that shouldn’t really send you over the edge. Ok, so you moved and your stuff was going to take a little longer to get to you.  You’ll live, right?

But it wasn’t just that it would be another 2 weeks before we finally got all our things from our house in NY (that we had packed up and been living without for almost 2 months already, by the way}. It wasn’t that working with this moving company had been a completely exhausting, horrible and misleading experience (OK, maybe it was a little bit of that). It was (mostly) that it was just one more thing we had to wait for on a very long and ever-growing list… with no end in sight.

 

500 Days of Waiting

For a year and a half, all we’ve been doing is waiting for one thing or another.

Last April (on the night of our twin sons’ 2nd birthday, to be exact), a soot blowback from our oil burner into our house was the prologue to this long-winded, drawn-out novel of which we were the poor, unfortunate main characters.

It started when we had to live in a torn-apart, packed-up house (with toddlers touching every dirty thing in sight) for 3 weeks before getting our house renovated.

Once our house was finished, the next chapter was selling the house. We soon realized we needed to get permits from the town in order to sell – and that’s where the story picks up (or slows down, really), and the waiting got really fun.

Waiting for town hearings.

Waiting for variances.

Waiting for work to be done.

Waiting for inspections.

More requirements. More demands. More money.

Waiting for more inspections.

Waiting to finally get approved for the permits.

Waiting for a closing date.

After more than 500 days of waiting, Suffolk County finally let us go.

 

Still More Waiting

Once we finally broke free from NY, we thought the path was clear for smooth sailing in our new life in Tennessee. How naive, right?

Really, it’s just been more waiting.

Waiting while we applied for rentals.

Waiting to see if we could get a mortgage.

Waiting while my husband finished work in NY.

Waiting while he filled out job applications in Tennessee.

All it was was more waiting. For every. single. thing.

And I was completely waited out by the time I read that email. (Hence, the tears.)  Now, it would be 2 more weeks before we would get our stuff. Before I could finally start to make our house a home, after feeling displaced and living out of boxes for almost a year and a half.

And even now, due to a few other unexpected issues, we’ve learned we still have more waiting to go.

Couldn’t anything happen in this tedious drama that wouldn’t involve waiting?

{Don’t answer. I already know.}

In all the things I’ve done in my life where I’ve had to expend energy, nothing has ever exhausted me like doing nothing and waiting. I have felt every hour of every day of every week of every month of this waiting, and I would swear I’m living in dog years.

I’m tired of and tired from waiting.

 

The Black Hole of Waiting

If you are trapped in the black hole of waiting – sister, I feel you. I really, really feel you.

When you’re waiting, you have lots (and lots) of time to think. Every minute moves in slow motion, and it feels like you’re running in a Cat 5 hurricane – expending every ounce of energy you have and getting nowhere.

I’m not a stranger to waiting. There’ve been many a thing I’ve had to wait for (as a late bloomer and someone who had struggled with miscarriages and infertility, a husband and kids were probably the most trying),  but this is the first time it’s been one successive wait after another. And I could feel myself being sucked into that black hole.

Having been here before, I knew I needed to try to put this in its proper perspective so as not to go down that rabbit hole.

Help When You’re Tired of and Tired From Waiting

My mind started flipping through the mental Rolodex to find Bible verses on waiting.  Surely, I’d learned something in all of my other times of waiting that could help me now.

Waiting, waiting, waiting… Bible verses on waiting…

The first one that popped into my head was this:

 

“Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles. 

They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

 

I’m familiar with this verse. So familiar, in fact, that I almost dismissed it, thinking that I’d already wrung that verse dry. But the Holy Spirit slowed me down a little, and as He always has a way of doing, showed me some truths that would make my waiting a little more survivable and give me the help I needed.

If you’re completely tired of waiting – and tired from waiting – I hope this will give you some encouragement and stamina as you wait on:

1. We need God to renew our strength while we wait because waiting is so dang exhausting.  Do you know how hard it is to sit back and do nothing? Of course you do. To know there’s nothing you can do to move your situation along even a little?  It’s like trying to pry M&Ms out of the hands of a toddler.  It takes legit mental and spiritual strength to wait in a way where you don’t end up in a mental breakdown or a heap of tears. But God promises us to give us the strength to do it.  

2. When we wait, we are waiting on the Lord.  We aren’t waiting on someone else. Or for someone else to get his act together or step up and take action.  We’re not waiting for the stars to align or for some cosmic shift in the universe. God is the one behind the times and schedules and situations.  In actuality, we are waiting on Him. That can either add peace or make us frustrated that He’s not moving faster. If we look to the bottom of our frustration, though, we have to admit that it’s Him we’re frustrated with.  But actually, knowing that we’re waiting on Him should provide some comfort. 

He’s completely wise in how He lets details unfold, and His timing is nothing short of meticulously precise.  That should encourage us that He’s completely in charge of how things are coming together. We may not like it, but it’s so much better than those details being left to chance.

3. Waiting on the Lord is not just passing time; it’s actively hoping and trusting in Him. That’s part of the waiting. Anyone can cross off days on a calendar and wait. But the kind of waiting God is after in His kids is the waiting that is hoping and trusting and holding on to Him for dear life.  Personally, I fall VERY short in this area. I’m anything but restful or peaceful in my waiting – usually on eggshells the entire time. But honestly, this is not how it should be. God wants us to trust confidently while we wait. {And my guess is that the way I wait probably has a lot to do with why waiting is so exhausting for me.}

4. Waiting is as tiring as running – and God knows this. Waiting may seem like it’s just passive inactivity, but the mental and emotional energy expended to keep your peace while you wait feels like running a marathon.  However, God will give us the strength to run. And even when we can’t run anymore and we’ve pittered to a walk, He’ll help us not to faint

5. God will enable us to rest while we wait.  That seems too good to be true, right? I know, for me, that’s not my norm.  But when an eagle is soaring, he’s not flying.  He’s not flapping.  He’s gliding, just cruising along, trusting the wind to carry him where he needs to go. That’s the position God wants us to take.  Resting. Enjoying the ride. Enjoying the view.  Not expending energy that’s not necessary to expend. When we’re resting during the wait, it’s a sign that we’re trusting God to bring us right to the doorstep of the very thing we’re waiting for.

How to Wait Well

I’ve been around this block enough times to know that God doesn’t put us through anything unless there’s something He wants us to learn.  He won’t waste this time of waiting, and certainly, there’s good to come from it, if our eyes are open to see it.  Here are a few things that are helping me make the best of waiting:

Enjoy the things you won’t be able to once you get the thing you’re waiting for.  I can’t set up my house right now, but I have open-ended days with my boys that will get eaten up with all-things-home before too long, right?  Take inventory of how things will change and what window of opportunity you have now, and take advantage of that.  There will come a day when you will get what you’re waiting for (and it will be glorious), but it will be a trade-off for what you have now. So all the goodness you have now? Ask God to show it to you – and then spend every cent of it.

Fill your mind with God’s promises.  It can really, really feel like God’s forgotten you and abandoned you while you wait.  Like somehow this one thing slipped His notice while He was doing some other more important miracles.  Not so, my friend.  Grab a hold of every promise you can to carry you through the wait. Don’t let Satan wreak havoc in your mind.  Speak these truths to yourself. As often as you can. (A few that I’m holding onto: Roman 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 84:11, Ecc. 3:11, 2 Tim. 2:13.)

Take one day at a time.  Worrying, thinking, obsessing will not make what you are waiting for come a single second sooner.  There’s nothing you can do today, in this moment, to make it happen.  So, let it go. Let God pry the M&Ms out of your chubby toddler fingers. Just live today.  Today, you are cared for by God, your needs are met. The future and how and when what’s coming to you will come to you is out of your control and honestly, not your (or my) concern.  Let go of your expectations enough that just maybe, God will surprise you and go beyond anything that you were expecting (Eph. 3:20).

Remember that God makes EVERYTHING beautiful in its time (Eccl 3:11). Everything. Beautiful. In its time. Chew on that for a little while. That’s an amazing promise to take to the spiritual bank.  If it’s one lesson I’ve learned over the years with God, it’s that He’s a precise time-keeper.  He has such a meticulous schedule of all events pertaining to humanity and the universe – and you, too. There’s such a specific and intricate reason as to why whatever it is you’re waiting for has to come at the exact time He’s going to deliver it. He won’t be late, and, sadly, I’ve never known Him to be early, either. 

When every other detail of His plans aligns with the one thing you’re waiting for, you’ll get your thing. But not a second before. I might be overstating the butterfly effect here, but in a spiritual sense, so many of his plans are intertwined with others’ lives, decisions, and events. But when what you’re waiting for comes your way, you can know it is at the exact, pre-ordained time, perfectly aligned with God’s big plans. And it will be stunning to behold.

If you’re tired of waiting, tired from waiting, hang in there.  I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you won’t be waiting forever.  I know on this side of waiting, the road looks depressingly endless.  But it’s not. It’s really not. And you’ll have good company for your journey: He’ll walk every agonizing step right along with you.

Thoughts? I’d love to hear them! Leave a comment so we can chat!

More Faith Topics:

When You Didn’t Sign Up for This

Why It’s A Waste of Time Trying to Figure Out Your Life

I’m Breaking Up with the Hustle – and Here’s Why