10 Ways to Be Your Host’s Favorite Party Guest

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This post is sponsored by Wente Vineyards but the content and opinions expressed here are my own.

I looked at the clock, and I was so relieved.   Fifteen more minutes before our party started.  That would give me enough to put drinks on the table, do a quick wipe-down of the bathroom, and put on my party outfit, all before the guests arrived.

Until I heard a knock on the door.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

With a little sweat on my forehead and the leftover dinner ingredients clinging to my clothes, I answered the door with a forced smile, hoping it wouldn’t be what I feared.

But it was.

Some guests had arrived early.

Guess the party was starting right now.

Has that ever happened to you? You’ve timed everything out to the last nanosecond, and someone throws a wrench into your beautifully designed plan by coming early?  Hopefully, you haven’t been the early arrivals!

There’s a lot out there about how to throw an amazing party and how to be the most Martha-Stewart-hostess on the block. But to be honest, a party is only as good as the guests who come.  We never really give a lot of thought as to what it takes to be a fantastic guest and make all the preparations worth it for the host.

Chances are, sometime this holiday season, you’ll be one or both sides of this holiday party equation. Today, I want to share some tips on how to be a fantastic guest – one that will make your hostess let out a huge sigh of relief that you attended her party. 

One of the best gifts you can give your hostess is the gift of your presence – by being fully there. Follow these tips, and she’ll hear loud and clear that you are fully present at her event.

1| RSVP!

It is amazing how many people miss this! I’m sure you can imagine how frustrating it is not to know how many people you’re planning for! Most people usually allow you to RSVP with a text. It really can’t get easier than that! Please – let her know!

2| Arrive in a timely manner.

Obviously, as in my horror story example above, you do NOT want to arrive early.  Your hostess will likely need every precious second.  However, you don’t want to come too late either.  From the start time to about 15 minutes later to be fashionably late is your window.  Fifteen minutes after start time is usually my goal time when I’m going to a party. Absolutely, try to be there no later than a 1/2 hour after the start, unless you’ve checked with the hostess ahead time and she’s fully aware.  Usually, she’s got everything timed out perfectly, and if they’re waiting for you to go to the next food course or activity, well, that’s just stress for the hostess.

3| Ask ahead if you can bring something.

Some women are funny about this and feel that any outside food or item will throw off her theme. If that’s the case, respect it, but bring something that she can choose or choose not to serve – like a dessert.  However, lots of hostesses welcome contributions.  It’s always best to ask what you can bring to help out. Just make sure it’s something that doesn’t require a lot of preparation by the hostess or serious oven time.

4| Bring a hostess gift.

It’s pretty customary these days to bring a thank you gift for the hostess. This can anything from a box of chocolates to flowers.  One standard gift that is always appreciated (unless you know that your hosts don’t drink alcohol) is a lovely bottle of wine.  One favorite to give is Wente’s Chardonnay.  This is a beautiful wine that comes from a vineyard that is family-run and all about spending meaningful time together.

Wine is a great choice because it can be served at the party, but it also is perfect if the hostess wants to enjoy it another time. Wines from Wente Vineyards are a top caliber choice that will be sure to impress your hostess with your thoughtfulness and quality selection.

5| Put the phone away.

I know, I know.  Your kids might call. You might miss an important message. Meghan Markle might announce the gender of her baby.  So much FOMO (fear of missing out)! But be the respectful guest.  Keep the phone out of sight for the duration, unless it’s an emergency.  And if you have kids at home with a babysitter, keep it nearby on vibrate or periodically check it, but my goodness, stay off of social media and other such nonsense.

One of the best gifts you can give your hostess is the gift of your presence – be fully there and fully engaged when you’re at the party.

6| Follow hostess’s instructions.

The best way you can make things easiest for her it is to follow her lead.  The answer is an enthusiastic “OK!’ to everything she asks.  “Don’t wait for everyone to arrive – eat now!” “OK!”  “Would you mind switching seats?” “OK!”  “I’m fine in the kitchen – I don’t need help!” “OK!” See how easy?!?

Your help might not seem like help to her.  If she absolutely insists on something, don’t get in her way.  Sometimes it’s too many hands in the kitchen and that makes things more stressful. Just follow her cues.

7|  Participate in whatever activities she has planned.

Maybe you hate party games and those aren’t your thing. However, I’m sure you hostess put a lot of thought and energy into the entertainment and activities for the night. Do her a HUGE favor.  Be a good sport. Be enthusiastic. Have fun. Fully participate. It will mean so much to her that all her work wasn’t in vain.

8|  Give the hostess a break.

At some point, offer the hostess a chance to sit out for part of the party detail, and take over.  Let her visit with her guests.  Even if it’s just to clear the table and put out the desserts, look for an opportunity to let the hostess visit with her guests.  She might be reluctant, but do your best to convince her.  If she doesn’t take your help, see # 6.

9| Offer to help clean up.

There’s a difference between staying a little later to help clean up and overstaying your welcome.  Most parties don’t have ‘end’ times, so pay attention to when things are wrapping up. If you see the hostess holding up her head and nodding off while you’re still chattering away, it’s probably a sign you should be on your way. However, when you notice guests leaving, if you don’t have to rush out and relieve a babysitter, offer to help clean up. Any little bit you can do is helpful.

10| Send a thank you note.

This part of etiquette is often overlooked in our digital age. But a handwritten note saying ‘thanks’ will definitely be a welcome surprise and let the hostess know that her efforts were appreciated!

Hostesses put SO much work into throwing a meaningful, entertaining gathering.  Following all of these tips will show her how much you value and appreciate her efforts!  More than anything, a hostess wants her guests to enjoy themselves and to be fully present at the party.  And honestly, giving the gift of your presence is one of the best gifts you can offer anyone this season.

{Be sure to stop by Wente Vineyard’s website for more great ideas on how to give the gift of presence!}